They'll Miss Me When I'm Gone
by Big-Taylor
Summary: When Alvin feels like that he doesn't belong and isn't wanted anymore, he takes matters into his own paws. Alvin's POV. ONE-SHOT. (WARNING: Very sad and may upset younger readers. Read at your own risk)


**Hey guys, this is still the same story but I corrected a few things that annoyed me 'cause I'm really OCD-ish like that :).**

They'll miss me when I'm gone.

It's not easy being me you know. Alvin Seville. The bad boy. The rebel. I always get blamed for things I didn't do and punished when I don't mean for something to happen. For example, when Simon broke his glasses when I put cling film across the doorway and made him walk into it. Seriously though, it's not like I planned for him to get wrapped up in it and make him fall and hit his glasses on the door frame. I can't believe I got grounded for a month for it.

Nobody takes me seriously and everyone treats me like crap. It's like they don't want to know me anymore. It's like their lives would be better without me. Every time I try and talk to them it's "Go away I'm busy" or "Go away you're gonna mess everything up" or "Get out your gonna ruin it". Like last week I went into Simon's lab to see if he wanted to come out and all I got for wanting to hang out with my brother was "Go away Alvin before you mess something up". Does he even think about how bad that makes me feel? how bad that hurts? Forget it, I'm gonna go outside and cool off.

I walked outside and started kicking a football at the side of the house. I kicked harder as I angered myself by thinking about how I get treated. How no one wants to have a conversation with me for longer than 30 seconds that isn't me getting shouted at by Dave. I kicked the ball awkwardly and watched it fly towards the window. Everything felt like it was in slow motion until...

*SMASH*

Glass shattered everywhere and the ball carried on through the window...

"OWW" someone yelled. A voice I recognised to be Simon's.

"CRAP", I burst out almost accidentally.

I ran back inside to find Dave and Simon in the room where the window was I had just smashed. I looked straight to Dave and rambled my apology.

"Dave I'm so so so so sorry I didn't mean it, I kicked the ball weird n-n-n".

Before I could finish, Dave bawled back.

"ALVIN! I don't wanna hear it, you're grounded for a month and you're paying for that window with your allowance".

"I didn't mean to dave, I-".

He cut me off again.

"I don't care what you have to say alvin".

"But I-".

"No buts Alvin. God, that's the 3rd time this month you've smashed a window in this house. I've had it alvin".

"Dave, I'm sorry".

"And you broke Simon's glasses for the second time this month".

Simon stood by the front door which was still open from when I burst through it a minute ago.

I turned and looked sadly at my younger brother.

"I'm sorry Simon".

He spat back at me, covering every word with venom.

"Just shut up Alvin. I'm sick and tired of all the trouble you cause in this house. How am I gonna get another pair of glasses".

Dave interjected.

"Don't worry, Simon. Alvin's paying for those too".

"I can't afford to Dave".

"You get NO pocket money until you've payed off Simon's glasses and the window".

I tried pleading again but couldn't get a word out.

"But-".

"NO BUTS".

Dave sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. He calmed down enough to talk to me without shouting a hole in the sound barrier.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you. Sometimes I ... can't help thinking we'd be better off without you, Alvin".

The room fell deadly silent as those crushing words hit my ears and registered in my brain.

I felt like I had been stepped on and my reply came out as a feeble whisper, half choked by sobs.

"H-how... how can you say that Dave".

The next words that came out my adoptive father's mouth crushed me and shook me to my very core.

"You make it easy, Alvin".

Something inside me snapped and I couldn't control the volume of my voice and emotion.

"WELL IT'S NOT EXACTLY EASY BEING ME!".

I lost myself and tears that formed in my eyes rolled down my furry face uncontrollably.

"I GET TREATED LIKE CRAP FOR NOTHING, NO-ONE WANTS ME AROUND. EVERYTIME I TRY AND TALK TO SOMEONE OR GO NEAR THEM I GET TOLD TO GO AWAY. YOU THINK I MEAN TO DO THE BAD THINGS I DO? YOU THINK I MEANT TO SMASH THE WINDOW AND BREAK SIMONS GLASSES? YOU THINK I DO THESE THING ON PURPOSE?"

Before Dave could give his retaliation, I turned on my heels and headed for the door.

"Alvin wait, where are you going?" Dave called out

"What do you care" I spat back.

"You're not going out without your keys".

Simon held my keys high above his head. I jumped to try and reach them but failed.

How could he mess with me after what had just happened? is he trying to push me over the edge.

"GIVE ME MY KEYS".

His reply was blank and effortless.

"Nope".

I stopped jumping and lost my self-control. I grabbed Simon by his hoodie and slammed his back against the wall. I saw the fear in his eyes as they began to water up.

"Give me the fucking keys. Now".

My voice was dark and intimidating. The look in my eyes struck more fear into my dearest sibling. He handed me the keys and I pulled him off the wall and pushed him to the side. He stumbled and hit the floor with a dull thud.

I looked back at Dave who just seemed to be frozen in shock, then at Simon who recoiled and flinched as my line of sight met his. I turned back with no remorse for my actions, threw my hood up and walked out of the door with my hands in my pockets.

I walked down the street. Tears rolled down my face and my anger began to subside. A feeling that was replaced by sadness and rejection. This is what I don't want. I quickly got my anger back as I thought about what my own family had made me do. And what I'd done to Simon. He's probably scared of me.

I looked over a fence and down at the railway tracks that stretched off into the distance. Should I do it? Should I end it? If i did, who would care? Dave said they'd be better off without me. I attacked my own brother. He probably hates me. Doesn't want to know me anymore.

I took in a deep breath and sighed. I made my decision. I'm gonna do it. I have nothing to go back to. No one wants me there. I turned to my right and set off walking to find a way to the train tracks.

As I sat on the tracks with my arms resting on bent knees, I heard the horn of the oncoming train. Looking down at the floor, I closed my eyes tight and cried.

_When the blood dries in my veins,_

_And my heart feels no more pain,_

_I Know I'll be on my way,_

_To Heaven's door.  
><em>  
>"It'll all be over soon... They'll miss me when I'm gone"<p>

The End.

**Ahhhhh that's better. I don't know why but things like that annoy me :). Don't forget to REVIEW! Thanks.**


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